there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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