he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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