You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
