Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
