girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
