You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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