i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
