Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
