im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
