If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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