I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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