u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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