The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
