I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
