u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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