I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize