We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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