she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
