I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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