just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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