Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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