Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
so much tequila, so little girl.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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