Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
