just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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