I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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