Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
