got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
