Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
