Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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