The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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