The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
