I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
