Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Enjoy the penises
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
