I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
