She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
