Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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