I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
