We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
