the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
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