Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
