I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
