So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
