Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
