very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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