Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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