Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
