I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
There are leaves in my underwear?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
