i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
