**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
