i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
