come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
