Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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